Advocating for myself

Dear blog,

So, I’ve decided that I needed to make an appointment with my ob gyn and have a talk. Last entry, I explained that I’m really frustrated about a lot of things. This still stands true, and frankly I’m really frustrated that women are left in the dust, postpartum. It’s time that I advocate for myself, since no one else will.

I called and spoke to the nurse and listed my concerns which she then brought to the doctor. Here’s my concerns:

1)    TMI, but my boobs still leak….. like what? I haven’t breastfed in 2.5 months. Why is this happening? Again, no one ever told me….

2)    I have MAJOR anxiety and some OCD, and frankly its new anxieties that I don’t know how to manage. Is this NORMAL as a new parent??? Or am I insane?

3)    My first couple periods since birth are heavy as hell, and super long. Is this normal? Again, no one told me.

4)    I cannot drop my last 15 pounds to save my life. Is this normal? Is it too early? Will it just take more time? Will it get easier to come off as time goes on? Again, no one told me.

5)    Is it normal for my c-section incision to sometimes feel a little painful, and will the numbness around the area improve? Will I forever have a c-section shelf? Because, no one told me.

I just feel really irritated that society acts like women are just baby making machines and people assume that “oh when you have your second”…… is such a nonchalant thing to say. What if I don’t WANT to go through all of this again? I don’t HAVE to. I’d highly advise you as a society to not assume that what women go through is just easy and normal. I feel like we need to be more validated for our struggles, as sometimes they can be life threatening. Depression and anxiety is no joke, and I know how low I’ve gotten in the past. I’m grateful that I’ve been managing it for years, but there have absolutely been times I’ve thought, “I think it would be better if I wasn’t here anymore.” I’d be lying if I told you I’ve never had these thoughts. Next week I’d like to address things that people have said to me while pregnant and such. I’d like to create some awareness about how words can really affect people. There are certain things you should absolutely not say to a pregnant person.

Until next week….

Jess